Through a colleague who is working on something else I found that this kernel based on 3.12.x stable:
http://git.ti.com/ti-linux-kernel/ti-linux-kernel/commits/ti-linux-3.12.y
has full power management support and remote wakeup from usb works!
Could you not have told us this? At the very least when the official 3.2 kernel was demonstrated not to work...